An Alternative To Valentine's Day
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With Valentine’s Day upon us, I’ve heard several men, mostly out shopping, complain about this “artificial” holiday and how its only purpose is to make sure men have to spend money on things they would never consider buying otherwise.
Let me make a point here before we move on – Valentine’s Day is not only a day when men are expected to do something extraordinary for the women in their lives. Women should be as aware of the intention of the holiday as an opportunity to celebrate the gift of love as men are. Making the day something unique and special for the men in our lives is every bit as important as it is for men to do the gifting for their women.
But has one day a year set aside to express love become a burden? Has it come to feel artificial to place such attention on relationships just one day a year and then go back to business as usual for the remaining 364 days? Do the gifts exchanged on Valentine’s Day really hold deep meaning, or are they given out of obligation? I’m sure the answer is different for each of us, however this is something to consider as we think about how we do (or don’t) express love on a daily basis.
What if a day dedicated to the expression of love were unnecessary because we had learned to be loving and expressive partners all year long? What if the love and support we express is all the gift that’s needed? What if the most special people in our lives felt so loved on a daily basis that there was no need for gifts that don’t come close to the power of the love we give?
How would that change not only our own lives and the lives of those we love, but how would that kind of love change the world around us?
I’m not taking about a soft and mushy Hallmark kind of love; I’m talking here about staying aware, remembering what it is that drew us together and keeps us together, I’m talking about focusing on fixing the inevitable problems that arise instead of allowing them to drive us apart, I’m talking about making sure that the people we love know how much we love them every day with kindness, loving words and loving touch, patience, the desire to make each other happy and secure, and unwavering respect for each other, even when we might feel so annoyed we can hardly see straight.
This is not difficult to do, it just takes the commitment to be the best and most trustworthy, honest, and loving partner we can be. And remembering to think about, to truly consider what the partner we love needs from us in order to feel loved.
An excellent question to ask each other in order to express love in the most meaningful way is “What makes you feel most loved?” The answer to this question can provide essential information that can help ensure that we express love in the way our partner can best accept and understand.
Doing at least one of these simple things every day can make each day feel like Valentine’s Day without the need to rush to the flower shop before all those roses are gone (but, of course, we do love flowers, especially given randomly for no reason except that we are loved!).
With Valentine’s Day upon us, I’ve heard several men, mostly out shopping, complain about this “artificial” holiday and how its only purpose is to make sure men have to spend money on things they would never consider buying otherwise.
Let me make a point here before we move on – Valentine’s Day is not only a day when men are expected to do something extraordinary for the women in their lives. Women should be as aware of the intention of the holiday as an opportunity to celebrate the gift of love as men are. Making the day something unique and special for the men in our lives is every bit as important as it is for men to do the gifting for their women.
But has one day a year set aside to express love become a burden? Has it come to feel artificial to place such attention on relationships just one day a year and then go back to business as usual for the remaining 364 days? Do the gifts exchanged on Valentine’s Day really hold deep meaning, or are they given out of obligation? I’m sure the answer is different for each of us, however this is something to consider as we think about how we do (or don’t) express love on a daily basis.
What if a day dedicated to the expression of love were unnecessary because we had learned to be loving and expressive partners all year long? What if the love and support we express is all the gift that’s needed? What if the most special people in our lives felt so loved on a daily basis that there was no need for gifts that don’t come close to the power of the love we give?
How would that change not only our own lives and the lives of those we love, but how would that kind of love change the world around us?
I’m not taking about a soft and mushy Hallmark kind of love; I’m talking here about staying aware, remembering what it is that drew us together and keeps us together, I’m talking about focusing on fixing the inevitable problems that arise instead of allowing them to drive us apart, I’m talking about making sure that the people we love know how much we love them every day with kindness, loving words and loving touch, patience, the desire to make each other happy and secure, and unwavering respect for each other, even when we might feel so annoyed we can hardly see straight.
This is not difficult to do, it just takes the commitment to be the best and most trustworthy, honest, and loving partner we can be. And remembering to think about, to truly consider what the partner we love needs from us in order to feel loved.
An excellent question to ask each other in order to express love in the most meaningful way is “What makes you feel most loved?” The answer to this question can provide essential information that can help ensure that we express love in the way our partner can best accept and understand.
Doing at least one of these simple things every day can make each day feel like Valentine’s Day without the need to rush to the flower shop before all those roses are gone (but, of course, we do love flowers, especially given randomly for no reason except that we are loved!).
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