Treating Yourself with Love

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For many of us, maybe most of us, it’s much easier and more comfortable to give than to receive. Is this because we may not feel that we deserve gifts, offerings, anything freely given by those who love us?

Maybe and, if so, that would be something to work on. But the point is that we may be good at coming up with ways to pamper, nurture, and take excellent care of others while not necessarily being as good to ourselves. If we’ve become expert at neglecting ourselves, it may feel natural to give freely to others while ignoring ourselves and what we need, and it may even feel noble (in some strange way) to put everyone else first, and put ourselves last. But there is nothing noble or selfless or spiritual about treating ourselves as if we don’t matter.

So, as an experiment or maybe the first step in a new way of doing things, set aside a day or a meal or even an hour or two during which you focus on yourself in a loving and nurturing way.

Make the commitment to treat yourself during that set-aside time the way you would treat someone you love deeply (after all, you are meant to be someone you love deeply) and focus on the experiences, things, behaviors that can bring joy or peace or a sense of being loved to you (the person you love deeply). This is not selfish (women are often concerned that doing anything for themselves means they are selfish), this is a very wise way to live. Making sure you have what you need first means that you will always have your very best to bring to others in your life. Remember the instruction you hear before your plane takes off – “put your own oxygen mask on first before helping someone else”.

You can’t make a positive difference in someone else’s life if you are not making a positive difference in your own first.

Try this, and see how treating yourself with love can change things. Fix your own favorite meal, take yourself to a place you enjoy, try something you’ve thought about trying; you can do this even if you’re alone because you will be doing it with and for the YOU that you can choose to love. Life begins to look and feel different when we see it and live it from a place of self-love and respect. This doesn’t mean
treating other people badly in order to feel better, it means treating yourself better so that your own natural excellence shapes everything you are, you do, and you have.